Sarong Story Contest

THE STORY BEHIND THE SARONG SONG IS THAT I WAS SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH OF THE LOCAL FLAVOUR IN WHITE BAY ON JOST VAN DYKE, THE SMALLEST OF THE BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS WITH MY BUDDY LAYNE, AN OLD PIRATE.

THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL CAME WALKING DOWN THE BEACH IN FRONT OF US WEARING A BIKINI TOP AND A SARONG. LAYNE LEANED OVER TO ME AND SAID, "FREDDIE, I'VE NEVER SEEN A SARONG LOOK SO RIGHT!" WELL, I COULDN'T LET A LINE AS GOOD AS THAT GO TO WASTE, SO, I WROTE THE SARONG SONG!

WHEN THE MADNESS TAKES US, WE HOLD A SARONG CONTEST AT OUR SHOWS! THE CONTEST IS SIMPLE. ANY GIRL IS ELIGABLE AS LONG AS SHE IS WEARING A BIKINI TOP AND A SARONG (WE WILL LET YOU SUBSTITUTE A HALTER TOP, A TUBE TOP, A WET T- SHIRT THAT HAS BEEN CUT OFF, OR A BRA. OTHER SUBSTITUTIONS MAY BE PERMITTED BY SPECIAL PERMISSIONS FROM THE RULES COMMITTEE (AKA THE BAND)

WE WILL PLAY THE SARONG SONG AND ALL THE CONTESTANTS WILL DANCE TO THE SONG! THE WINNER WILL BE THE GIRL WHO LOOKS "SO RIGHT" IN HER SARONG!

THE AUDIENCE WILL DECIDE THE OUT COME BY APPLAUSE! PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED FOR THE PRETTIEST SARONG GIRL, THE SEXIST SARONG GIRL, AND THE SASSIEST SARONG GIRL! JUDGES OF THE APPLAUSE WILL BE THE BAND (WHO CAN BE BOUGHT, OF COURSE!) AND JUDGES DECISION WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FINAL (PROBABLY)